By Wendy Partridge, the OC Cash Register

Mickey and his friends welcome you back to Disneyland starting April 30 … some restrictions apply.

The wait is almost over. The moment you’ve been waiting for is almost here. Disneyland is almost open again. But when that time comes on April 30, there are going to be some changes made to comply with social distancing rules and regulations.

According to these rules, which the company had to agree to in order to keep the park open at all, you may not:

—Spit on any structure or plant life. Disneyland is not your personal spittoon, Grandpa Zeke!

—Get into loud arguments over whether it matters what any of the Princesses did in their direct-to-video sequels. Does anyone actually care?

—Use turkey leg bones to play “air drums” to any song once you have eaten the meat. Or during as you are more likely to fling hot grease on passersby.

—Make jokes about why Sneezy hasn’t been quarantined away from the other six dwarfs.

That joke about Sneezy would be funnier if people's lives didn't hang in the balance of the rules being followed.

—Flick your boogers toward the animatronic figures. Not even on “It’s A Small World.” Believe me. I asked.

—Pull your shirt up on the drop down Splash Mountain. Everybody knows about “that website” these days.

—Make rude comments about visible underwear lines of any character who wears tights. In addition to it not being 1982 anymore, this is why you rarely see people walking around in TRON costumes.

Not an actual Disneyland costume. Sometimes, even the House of Mouse can't improve on a single ultra-dedicated fan.

—Engage in rap battles with any of the characters. You will lose. Also, beatboxing spreads germs even with a mask on.

—Use terrible, cringeworthy Disney-related puns to refer to any part of your body, especially the parts covered by clothes. Studies have not shown them to be effective pick-up lines or conversation starters.

—Refer to overweight and obese guests as “blubber buns” or other such name-calling, no matter how tempting it is to comment on the sight of sweaty, cellulite-dimpled thighs in ill-fitting short shorts while standing on line for the few rides that are actually open.

Yes, this was a thing.

—Fling your Dole Whip smoothie at any of the villains. The ones who are witches will put a curse on you. And believe me, they mean business!

—Violently overthrow the oligarchy and everything they stand for. That hasn’t been allowed since August 6, 1970 when the Youth International Party tried to stage an insurrection there. Needless to say, they failed.

—Ask Alice to say “kiss my grits” since that was Flo’s line and that show was from Warner Bros.

—Point out the story flaws in the sequel trilogy while asking why there aren’t more original trilogy characters in Galaxy’s Edge, you great big ismphobe you.

—Loudly emphasize the “ho” in “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.” This is still a family park.

—Point out to whoever is playing Ariel that the character died in the book by turning into sea foam. She didn’t die in the Disney version. If you’ve got a problem with that, take it up with the statue in Copenhagen.

Under the Sea: Ariel's fate in the original Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale was much crueler than the movie.

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